And it applies to everything in your life... food, clothes, TV shows, best cricketer, the underwear suited best to you, haircut, lack of haircut, people you want to be friendly with, people you don't want to be friendly with... and of course the biggest one... who you marry!
Marriage... the biggest of all the biggest challenge in the life of any free thinking liberal Indian (there is a reason our numbers are dwindling!!) My salute of those who have managed to fight it... even if you may not have survived, at least you fought...
Here is the thing... parents educate their children, give them the best of facilities, provide all possible opportunities, and feel proud when they become independent; "O Ji, khud ke pairon pe khada ho gaya hai... MNC vich kaam karta hai... dollar salary!!" And then...
WHAM!!!
"Bacche, its time for your marriage... 'we know this boy/girl... meet her...' 'milne mein kya problem hai...' 'shaadi karne ko thodi keh rahe hain...' 'our families go way back...' 'remember, its the families that get married...' 'we have seen her/him since they were little... perfect match for you' "
Well... lets see the merit of the above comments:
1. 'we know this boy/girl... meet her...': I know enough boys/girls too... does not mean I want to marry each of them. And did you ask me if I already like someone?
2. 'milne mein kya problem hai...' (what is the harm in meeting?): Well the simple problem is, sometime down the line, I educated myself that young girls/boys are not show pieces to pick out. Besides, I don't want to get into another argument with you as to why I do not want to marry the person who you have already picked out for me. You taught me to not look at the negative in people... remember?
3. 'shaadi karne ko thodi keh rahe hain...' (we are not asking you to marry her now): Ya right!! The moment I say "I like her/him" you will be calling up to find out the finger size, waist, bust, shoulder, leg measurements... and start planning your shopping visits to 1000 cities in over a 100 countries for 1,000,000 things that you need to buy. 999,893 of those are things I can do without.
4. 'our families go way back...': So? If they are such good people and you like them so much, invite them for dinner! Why get me married to their child???
5. 'remember, its the families that get married...': Oh really? So after marriage you wont mind of my spouse's family was in my house all the time demanding things of me? Or if we spent each of the festivals together? If I invite my 100 separate in-laws to all your functions, birthdays, watch the match on your new imported big screen TV? Oh and just of curiosity, you guys are not planning to sleep with my spouse's family I hope... just confirming... since you too are now "married"!!
6. 'we have seen her/him since they were little... perfect match for you': So tell me, you have been following his/her progress at each step since you first saw them in diapers? And for that matter, did YOU tell your parents everything you did when you were young? So no... you do not know that person well enough. And you do not even know me well enough, I grew an identity of my own you know! So, you are really not in a position to say who is a perfect match for who.
This is not everything... but it gives a good idea of what Indian kids go through... and these are the ones who agree to an arranged marriage!! God forbid, you do that one sin that makes you the worst child ever... you find a life partner for yourself... "chee chee... naak katwa di" (yuck... destroyed our reputation). But for that, another blog... another time... soon.
P.S. I personally have nothing against an arranged marriage. It has as much of a possibility of working as a love marriage. I do not like the way the way its done.
Also, I have tried to keep this as gender neutral as possible. My apologies if I slipped somewhere.
