The Movie Destroyers...

I love going to the movies... and not just for the popcorn... For me, watching a good movie in the theater is one of the most satisfying experiences in life. But as is the case with all good things, there is always something that will try to ruin it for you... in this case, pesky people! (again, not counting bad popcorn)

These 'pesky people', who for some reason have decided to ruin your movie watching experience, can be classified into the following classes:

1. The "unPunctuals" - Never on time, and for some reason, never know their seat number. They will trample on your toes (and mostly not ever care), bump into you, kick your seat, ask your YOUR seat number, how long since the movie started, and has the famous song/scene come and gone yet, etc... you know the type I am talking about!!

2. The "ilovemyPhones" - Its understandable... there are people in this world who are too busy to switch off their phones for two hours. Like the girl during Inception who just had to discuss the tiny scratch under Tina's latest handbag's buckle... or young boy who could not wait another 50 minutes for The Prince of Persia to finish before discussing the new girl who joined college the day before, or the businessman who decided that 40 minutes into The Dark Knight was the best time to discuss the rates of PVC pipes. And of course, there are those who are on the phone guiding the ones who were late to their seats.

3. The "beenheredoneThats" - Of course... you watched the movie just yesterday and know everything that is about to happen before it does. Congratulations Nostro!! Now shut up and stop ruining the movie for me!!!

4. The "willCurserers" - Any action thriller will have a bunch who will 'f***', 'd***', 's***', 'OMG! OMG!' on every and any scene. Even the credits. After some time, its gets too much to tolerate.

5. The "dialougeRepeaters" - Mostly in comedies... any punch line, and these people will have to repeat the whole thing before setting on a very very loud and distracting laugh! Please... we are not stupid here... we got what they said the first time around!!

6. Parents: Parents who think that in a movie theater, they are excused from parenting responsibilities. Let the children shout, make noise, cry for popcorn (hey!!), or a thousand things that children do... and should do. But parents, please keep them quite!! And if the baby is crying, please take it outside. Its noisy and dark in here... and cold.

7. The "familyPlanners" - GET A ROOM!!! I swear there was this couple next to me during the movie "Race" who, if the movie had gone on for another 30 minutes, would have been celebrating the birth of their child 9-10 months later!! They just might have.. I dont want to think about it!!!

8. The "Comparers" - There are those who will compare the movie/actor/story to another. I once heard a particularly bright group of girls discuss if Shah Rukh Khan would be better as Joker than Heath Ledger!!! AAARGHHH!!!!!!

9. The "Talkers" - They talk because of cannot shut up. And they will discuss everything, from the number of peas eaten in the afternoon to the latest boy/girl their parents set them up with for a prospective marriage!!

If you are one of these, please try to understand, for most people, movie watching is a happy experience. Please dont spoil it for them!! And for god's sake!!! Switch off that damn phone!!

The farewell email...

For the last 4-5 months, I (or at least my mailbox) have had the misfortune of receiving enough farewell emails to create a 10 volume book titled "Farewell Emails - Some Sweet, Some Caustic, and Mostly the Stupid - Part I". Total bestseller material!!

Anyways, seeing all those emails, I tried to write the big-momma of all farewell emails. Please note, any resemblance to YOUR farewell email is only because of your lack of imagination and oversensitive and 'touchy-feely' nature!! That and copy paste functions on your laptop.

Here goes...

Hey all you people I don't know but want to bid this painfully irritating farewell to,

As most of you know (most likely from the subject line of this email only), today is my last day our wonderful organization. Never mind that you overheard me bitching in the toilet about the boss and latest MIS brainwave excreted by some overzealous MBA - Jack, Jill, you ass kissers!! But honestly, barring the daily 25 percent of office time I spent cribbing about everything office, I have had a wonderful time! I learnt so much! ;) Made so many new friends, who I might wish on Facebook on their birthday next year. Not to forget the growth, in kilos and inches from all the pizzas at the wonderful team outings during office hours - team building rocks!!!

Let me take this opportunity to tell you, in a manner very inappropriate for a formal email, how much I love you. Yes you all... especially Rapunzel, you are DA BOMB!!! And of course, all you other cartoons, Shrek, Tom, Jerry, Rumpelstiltskin, Pinocchio. And last but not the least, special mention, my 'buddy', Micky Mouse... what would I have done if you did not tell me where the toilet was!! Thank you all so much... I love you!!! Mwaaah!!!!

These past 7 months, where I found the time to add 117 of you on Facebook and fall in love with, have been the best of my file. These were the best moments of my life that I will never forget and will cherish forever. Forget my marriage, college graduation, nephew's first birthday, and parents' 25th wedding anniversary. Its all about these seven month here... right now!!

And finally, to all my mentors, guides, bosses, manager, who have tried to work me to death in these seven months, I owe you so much. How can I ever pay the 'gurudakshina' for all the yelling, intimidating emails, appraisal-related hints to improve my sucking-up skills, and the late nights in office to prepare a PPT to celebrate the birth of five puppies to the CEO's pomeranian Augustine Brutus Julius IIIrd. Such cutie pies!!! Kootchie koo !!! Kootchie koo !!!

As I bid farewell and come towards the end of what is turning out the be the longest email I have written in these sexy seven months here, I cannot hold back the one tear rolling down my eye on to the key board (sniff sniff..... ). I remember all those two hour coffee breaks, the morning and evening gossip sessions, all those lovely, complex, and baseless Excel sheets I filled! Honestly, I struggled with the decision of leaving all you lovely people for a much higher paying, foreign posting, satisfying job that I am going to. It is the hardest decision of my life... even more than deciding what to order on our last team dinner (with DRINKS!!) :D.

In the end, all good things much come to an end. And this is the end of my journey with you all. Wish me the best of luck as I stride out to meet uncertainty and hope in my new job. Wait for at least three months before sending me your CV... hahahaha...

Love, hugs, kisses, tears, and forever yours,

Courage - The Cowardly Dog

How perspective changes after marriage

One weekend at home, I was discussing with my wife what cushions we should get for our new divan (well... old double mattress cut into two piled one over the other). And it then struck me, I was discussing CUSHIONS!!! How things change after marriage... here are a few things that came to my mind immediately then... I am sure this requires further elaboration!! Soon maybe... the missus willing ...

1. 11 p.m. is late
2. A big group of girls is noisy
3. The occasional Karan Johar movie is watchable
4. Two glasses of wine is enough for the night
5. Cushion covers matter
6. Cushions matter
7. Cheese is not healthy
8. Family functions are enjoyable
9. It not cool to watch FTV... even for the clothes...
10. Weekends are not for lazing around

What Am I? old poem

What Am I?

Rejoicing a life of illusion,
I thought myself to be something;
One who was different, great,
I was to myself in this living.

Bound for highest highs,
Despite all the lowering lows;
An enchanting personage,
Meant for honour and bows.

But so long only can last,
A life of self deceit and aggrandisement;
Taking away my rosy glasses,
Truth endows me with disappointment.

Life once made me proud,
With all its believed greatness and gaiety;
Comes to me as worthless,
For me I now feel, not sorrow but pity.

Await the Tide... another old poem...

Await the Tide

It was a glorious voyage, Joyous, beautiful and happy; In the long miles of age, To the star of destiny. This life as my vessel, I sailed the sea of time; To knowledge’s dwell, And thoughts fine. The calm of childhood, Far away from me, blew; Youth with a change of mood, Set my course, strange and new. Stranded on the sands of failure, Of the beach I so desired to avoid; My soul readies the sails for the future, Looking within, as I await the tide.

My Journey... a poem...

A poem I just found... something I had written around 10 years ago...

O God, where might you be now,

When in my memories you I remember?

To you with folded hands, lowest bow,

Seek guidance through life’s meander.

O Friend, where now do you dwell,

That my eyes fail your sight?

I want for me you to tell,

That my path is safe and right.

O Brother, do you hear my voice,

Across the lands, over mountains high?

I am ready and made my choice,

Pack my bags, the journey is nigh.

O Love, to you a question I now ask,

As I set out, will to stride;

Will you for me, do one small task,

Take my hand, in this journey of life?