The farewell email...

For the last 4-5 months, I (or at least my mailbox) have had the misfortune of receiving enough farewell emails to create a 10 volume book titled "Farewell Emails - Some Sweet, Some Caustic, and Mostly the Stupid - Part I". Total bestseller material!!

Anyways, seeing all those emails, I tried to write the big-momma of all farewell emails. Please note, any resemblance to YOUR farewell email is only because of your lack of imagination and oversensitive and 'touchy-feely' nature!! That and copy paste functions on your laptop.

Here goes...

Hey all you people I don't know but want to bid this painfully irritating farewell to,

As most of you know (most likely from the subject line of this email only), today is my last day our wonderful organization. Never mind that you overheard me bitching in the toilet about the boss and latest MIS brainwave excreted by some overzealous MBA - Jack, Jill, you ass kissers!! But honestly, barring the daily 25 percent of office time I spent cribbing about everything office, I have had a wonderful time! I learnt so much! ;) Made so many new friends, who I might wish on Facebook on their birthday next year. Not to forget the growth, in kilos and inches from all the pizzas at the wonderful team outings during office hours - team building rocks!!!

Let me take this opportunity to tell you, in a manner very inappropriate for a formal email, how much I love you. Yes you all... especially Rapunzel, you are DA BOMB!!! And of course, all you other cartoons, Shrek, Tom, Jerry, Rumpelstiltskin, Pinocchio. And last but not the least, special mention, my 'buddy', Micky Mouse... what would I have done if you did not tell me where the toilet was!! Thank you all so much... I love you!!! Mwaaah!!!!

These past 7 months, where I found the time to add 117 of you on Facebook and fall in love with, have been the best of my file. These were the best moments of my life that I will never forget and will cherish forever. Forget my marriage, college graduation, nephew's first birthday, and parents' 25th wedding anniversary. Its all about these seven month here... right now!!

And finally, to all my mentors, guides, bosses, manager, who have tried to work me to death in these seven months, I owe you so much. How can I ever pay the 'gurudakshina' for all the yelling, intimidating emails, appraisal-related hints to improve my sucking-up skills, and the late nights in office to prepare a PPT to celebrate the birth of five puppies to the CEO's pomeranian Augustine Brutus Julius IIIrd. Such cutie pies!!! Kootchie koo !!! Kootchie koo !!!

As I bid farewell and come towards the end of what is turning out the be the longest email I have written in these sexy seven months here, I cannot hold back the one tear rolling down my eye on to the key board (sniff sniff..... ). I remember all those two hour coffee breaks, the morning and evening gossip sessions, all those lovely, complex, and baseless Excel sheets I filled! Honestly, I struggled with the decision of leaving all you lovely people for a much higher paying, foreign posting, satisfying job that I am going to. It is the hardest decision of my life... even more than deciding what to order on our last team dinner (with DRINKS!!) :D.

In the end, all good things much come to an end. And this is the end of my journey with you all. Wish me the best of luck as I stride out to meet uncertainty and hope in my new job. Wait for at least three months before sending me your CV... hahahaha...

Love, hugs, kisses, tears, and forever yours,

Courage - The Cowardly Dog